EPISODE 3: Smells Like Teen Spirit (part 2)
CUT TO
INT Lilac's stables, Dusk darkened by storm.
The horses and UNI in the stables react to BOBBY as he slams the door open. A tempest rages behind him. With tears of rage in his eyes, he strides into the stables, making a bee line for UNI. LILAC follows him hotly.
LILAC:
Please, Bob! This is madness!
BOBBY:
They're saying our friends are
dead, Uni. We can't stay here.
LILAC:
You mustn't go out on a night
like this.
BOBBY spins round to LILAC.
BOBBY:
They're out there. We'll find
'em.
LILAC:
You're exhausted.
BOBBY:
Uni's strong enough to bear me.
BOBBY tries to turn back to UNI. LILAC grabs his arm and pulls him back.
LILAC:
Please! Please don't leave like
this.
Close on LILAC. Her eyes shine with tears.
LILAC:
I thought I'd never feel like
this ever again.
On BOBBY and LILAC.
BOBBY:
Feel like what?
LILAC grabs BOBBY's face and kisses him passionately. BOBBY reciprocates. After a beat they break out of the kiss.
LILAC:
You kiss like a man.
BOBBY:
Hey. I grew up young. In lots
of ways. But you... you're no
schoolgirl. You're a real
woman.
LILAC:
I wasn't for a long time.
But you woke me up. No hands
have touched me as a woman
since I was violated.
LILAC takes BOBBY's hand and places it on her breast.
BOBBY:
Oh...
LILAC:
Please. Wipe away their
fingerprints tonight.
BOBBY moves in on LILAC.
BOBBY:
Wow. You've got all the moves.
BOBBY kisses LILAC. UNI snorts, distracting him.
BOBBY:
Um... could we go someplace a
little more private?
UNI whinnies.
LILAC:
(to UNI)
He wasn't talking to you.
CUT TO
INT the tavern, Dusk.
HANK still stands with his guitar, strumming away to "Smells Like Teen Spirit". The KIDS are also singing along, and many drinkers have joined in. Since most singers don't know the song and those who do are hammered, the resulting song is a weird, folksy version of the Gen. X classic, with lots of wrong words, bum notes, etc.
ALL:
Well the lights out! An' it's
dang'rous!
CUT TO
INT Lilac's drawing room, Dusk.
Back in the drawing room, next to the roaring fire, a storm drenched BOBBY enthusiastically sweeps a similarly soggy LILAC off her feet and down onto the rug.
CUT TO
INT The tavern, Dusk
All are still singing.
ALL:
Here we are now! Entertain us!
CUT TO
INT Lilac's drawing room, Dusk.
Low angle on BOBBY and LILAC. BOBBY props himself up over LILAC and grins broadly down at her. Meeting his smile, LILAC runs her hands over his wet, muscular chest.
TAVERN SINGERS:
(O/S)
I feel stupid! And contagious!
On LILAC, closing her eyes and happily surrendering herself as BOBBY pushes his large hands through her long hair. She rolls her head over to the side and catches one of his hands with a kiss.
TAVERN SINGERS:
(O/S)
Here we are now! Entertain us!
On BOBBY. With both hands he takes his helmet by the horns and lifts it from his head. On LILAC, as BOBBY puts his helmet on her head. She looks up at it playfully and laughs a real, joyful laugh. BOBBY leans in and kisses her.
CUT TO
INT The tavern, Dusk.
HANK finishes off the song with a flourish. The other KIDS burst into fits of drunken giggles as the drinkers explode into applause.
DRINKERS:
More! More! More!
HANK, still standing with the guitar, nods and raises a hand in acknowledgement.
HANK:
Thankyou. Thankyou. We'll be
here all night. Tell your
friends.
On PRESTO, his face falling.
PRESTO:
We'll be here all night?
Longer shot on the group.
DIANA:
Presto honey, I don't know
about you but I am fucked. I
don't think we'll be going
anywhere but bed tonight.
SHEILA raises a hand.
SHEILA:
But what about...
HANK:
It's pissing down. It's getting
dark. We got free board here.
ERIC:
And we're waiting for Old Tom.
PRESTO:
I don't think Old Tom'll be a-
coming tonight in this weather.
If we want to find Bob...
HANK slams himself down into his seat beside PRESTO.
HANK:
My God, do you never stop with
the stupid ideas? We'd have
found Bob by now if it wasn't
for your blind faith in a
certain "reformed" character.
On ERIC and PRESTO. PRESTO frowns, confused.
PRESTO:
What...
PRESTO points confusedly at ERIC, who slaps his hand away.
ERIC:
Not me, dickhead!
PRESTO:
Ow...
DIANA:
Eric. Behave.
ERIC:
No. Leg'las is right on this
one.
HANK:
Not getting any funnier, Man...
PRESTO:
Whad'I do? I only said...
ERIC:
You only said we should exactly
what the Big V told us to, just
like always. Despite the fact
that he poofed us way the other
end of town in the rain leaving
the kid on his own, despite all
the times he tried to kill us,
despite the fact he's let this
lame ass world go to shit, no
offence...
BARMAN:
(O/S)
None taken...
ERIC stands, drunkenly.
ERIC:
And despite the fact that after
seven years your best friend is
still so disfigured that he
never goes swimming, never
changes at the gym, never takes
his shirt off in public because
of the looks he gets, you've
still managed to wedge yourself
100 percent up Venger's ass!
VARIOUS DRINKERS:
(whisper, o/s)
"Venger"?
Beat. The others watch ERIC, taken aback. The BARMAN and other drinkers surrounding them share troubled glances and whispers with one another.
PRESTO:
That's not fair, Eric.
ERIC:
Don't talk to me about not
fucking fair, Presto!
ERIC starts to storm off but the BURLY drinker gets in his way.
BURLY:
You speak of Venger?
ERIC:
Yep. Big surprise, turns out
he's a bit of a cunt.
ERIC tries to push past BURLY but BURLY pushes him back, sending ERIC toppling into the other KIDS. ERIC collapses to the floor, taking PRESTO, SHEILA and a bar stool with him. HANK clings to the bar to stay upright. DIANA regains her balance quickly and reacts angrily at BURLY.
DIANA:
Hey!
BURLY draws a small sickle from his belt.
BURLY:
Walk with Venger, eh?
On ERIC, SHEILA and PRESTO. ERIC begins to rise, half unsheathing his sword.
ERIC:
Son of a...
SHEILA and PRESTO hold him back.
Longer shot encompassing BURLY, the KIDS and the BARMAN.
BARMAN:
Don't act so ignorant. You all
know that nowadays to walk with
the Dungeon Master is to walk
with Venger. They've no choice.
Beat. BURLY tucks his sickle back away. ERIC cautiously sheathes his sword. PRESTO rises and leans on the bar, shortly joined by ERIC and SHEILA, who have difficulty clambering up.
PRESTO:
Who said we walked with Dungeon
Master?
The BARMAN ponders this for a moment while the KIDS watch him. He slides a large, full bottle over to them.
BARMAN:
Who wants another drink?
KIDS:
Me!
CUT TO
INT: Lilac's drawing room, Night.
Rain still lashes the windows and a fire still roars in the grate. BOBBY and LILAC lie together by the fire, naked but shrouded in a blanket. LILAC strokes the back of BOBBY's head fondly. BOBBY smiles at her, but his attention is diverted to the dark window.
LILAC:
The rain should have stopped by
morning.
BOBBY nods.
LILAC:
You're going to go and look for
your friends when it does,
aren't you?
BOBBY nods.
LILAC:
You're that sure they survived?
BOBBY:
It's what they're best at.
LILAC:
But you're still so sad.
Beat.
LILAC:
Who was it? The one you lost?
BOBBY:
Just an old man.
LILAC:
That's not what I mean. You
lost a lover. I see her in the
depths of your eyes, where I
keep my poor husband.
BOBBY:
Oh. Her.
Beat.
BOBBY:
She was my first. My first
everything. We met when we were
nine for God's sake. See, we
came back kinda... strange,
there were things we couldn't
explain to the others back
home, so people treated us
differently. My sister and her
friends were all the same age,
so they had each other at
least. And I had her. She'd
only been here briefly, but at
least she understood. So, we
sorta hung out together. It was
all very sweet and innocent.
Then puberty kicked in. We lost
our virginities together when
we were 14.
LILAC:
You had to leave her when you
came back here?
BOBBY:
Nothin' that noble. I told you,
I grew up young. By 16 I knew I
loved her, I knew someday I'd
probably marry her, but also
that at our age, it was just
the wrong time to commit. Puppy
love never works out in the
long run. I'd seen people lose
their first loves, and they'd
been heartbroken. But I'd also
seen people cling to that first
love, that idea, long after the
relationship was dead, and that
was worse. So we went our
separate ways. I haven't fallen
in love since then.
LILAC smiles sadly.
LILAC:
I see.
BOBBY:
Not that tonight didn't mean
anything. Believe me, it did...
LILAC:
It's all right. I don't think
I can fall in love either.
BOBBY:
So what now?
LILAC:
Stay with me tonight. In the
morning I will help you find
your friends.
BOBBY:
I thought you said they were
goners.
LILAC:
Well, we are talking about the
warriors of the Dungeon Master.
BOBBY blinks at LILAC.
BOBBY:
You know who we are? Who I am?
LILAC:
Unicorns are hardly common
these days. And Barbarians are
usually more... barbaric. When
you described your five friends
I knew that it was you.
BOBBY:
Wow. What do you people hear
about us?
LILAC:
Great tales. Of great deeds.
Children slaying giants,
thwarting sorcerers...
BOBBY:
Yeah. Damn right we did. And
now we're all growed up.
They'll be fine. They know what
they're doing.
CUT TO
EXT The back of the Tavern. Night. Bad rain.
On PRESTO, throwing up. He leans, doubled over, against the back wall of the Tavern and is further supported by SHEILA, who rubs his back and holds his hair away from his mouth.
SHEILA:
OK... It's OK.
PRESTO:
Oh God... Oh God... I think I'm
gonna die.
SHEILA:
You're not gonna die.
PRESTO:
Well, I want to.
Beat.
PRESTO:
Am I a shit friend?
SHEILA:
No! You're a great friend.
See... see, us quiet ones,
we've gotta stick together,
y'know, 'cos there are people
who... who think they have more
to say than us but they don't,
by... Golly...
PRESTO gazes drunkenly up at SHEILA. She smiles at him.
PRESTO:
I love you, Sheila. I really
really love you.
SHEILA hugs PRESTO.
SHEILA:
I love you too, Presto.
PRESTO:
Yeah?
SHEILA:
Yeah! You're one of my best
friends, silly.
PRESTO:
(crestfallen)
Yeah.
CUT TO
INT Inside the Tavern, Night.
All of drinkers have gone now. Most of the chairs are upside down on the tables. The BARMAN stands at the bar, cleaning glasses. HANK, ERIC and DIANA sit at the bar. DIANA is slumped over the bar, out for the count. HANK and ERIC slouch together, both nursing drinks.
HANK:
Yep.
ERIC:
Yep.
The BARMAN squints out of the window.
BARMAN:
Is he still being sick out
there?
HANK & ERIC both crane their heads up to the window and look.
HANK & ERIC:
Yep.
They both slouch back down.
BARMAN:
Maybe it's time you folks
called it an evening.
ERIC waves a finger at the BARMAN.
ERIC:
Hey, the show's not over til
the Black lady sings Moulin
Rouge, OK?
On cue, DIANA lurches her head up from the bar.
DIANA:
(sings)
Colour of Cafe Au Lait!
ERIC smiles at the BARMAN.
ERIC:
Goodnight.
Smiling to himself, HANK slides off his bar stool and begins to weave towards the back door, clutching the bar and various tables for support. As he does, ERIC carefully gets off his stool and takes DIANA by the shoulders, pulling her gently off her chair.
DIANA:
(sings)
She said Hey Joe, Wanna give it
a go? More, more more!
ERIC tries to lead DIANA away from the bar.
ERIC:
No, God, no more.
DIANA:
Where we goin'? More drink!
DIANA struggles against ERIC.
ERIC:
No more drink. Drink bad. Sleep
good.
In the effort to get DIANA to move with him, ERIC stumbles, slamming DIANA into a table corner.
DIANA:
Ow! Don't push me!
ERIC:
Well stop pissing around!
DIANA pushes ERIC back angrily.
DIANA:
Fuck you!
ERIC:
Fuck you!
DIANA:
In your fucking dreams!
ERIC:
In your fucking dreams I dream
about you! Only a Masochist
would find you attractive!
On HANK, still smiling, finally reaching the door.
DIANA:
(O/S)
Kiss my ass, White Boy!
HANK tries the handle.
ERIC:
(O/S)
Ha! In your dreams!
CUT TO
EXT Back of the Tavern, Night. Bad rain.
On HANK, swinging the back door open, merrily.
HANK:
(sings)
That's Amore!
Slightly longer shot incorporating PRESTO and SHEILA. They are still hugging, but have looked up at HANK's raucous entrance. The door swings shut behind HANK, blocking out the rest of the slanging match inside.
PRESTO:
Hey Hank.
HANK begins stumbling over to SHEILA and PRESTO.
HANK:
Presto, Presto, Presto.
Manhandling my woman, huh? 'S a
good job you're gay, dude.
SHEILA:
Hank...
Despite her attempt to reproach HANK, SHEILA lets go of PRESTO. PRESTO backs off. HANK puts an arm round SHEILA, and nuzzles her ear.
HANK:
Hey, Red, if you've quite done
hugging all the other guys in
this merry band, d'you think
there might be a little honey
left over for me?
SHEILA smiles.
SHEILA:
Well, I don't know. I wonder
where we should look...
PRESTO:
Y'know, I'm feeling much better
now, guys. And it's raining and
all...
PRESTO begins sidling off. HANK and SHEILA put their arms around each other.
HANK:
They gave us our own room in
there...
SHEILA gives HANK little nibbles on the lips and pushes back his wet hair.
SHEILA:
Now what would we want that
for?
SHEILA reaches up on tiptoe and meets HANK in a full on, drunken, down-the-throat kiss. PRESTO, still shuffling off awkwardly, reaches the door.
PRESTO:
Besides, I heard raised voices
in there. I'd better check on
'em.
PRESTO opens the door, slides through and closes it sharply, pressing his back against it. He looks up.
CUT TO
INT: The Tavern, Night.
There is silence in the tavern, just the crackling of the fire, and the quiet tinkle of the BARMAN still washing up. DIANA and ERIC are now both crashed out on the same large armchair by the fire. DIANA lolls in a drunken sleep, her head on ERIC's shoulder. ERIC watches her through drooping eyelids, contentedly winding and unwinding one of the long, curly locks of her hair around his finger. PRESTO watches them from the door.
PRESTO:
You OK, man?
ERIC:
She sleeps in my arms.
The fire warms her velvet skin.
Of course I'm happy.
PRESTO rolls his eyes and approaches the chair.
PRESTO:
Christ. I'd forgotten about the
Diana Poetry. Weren't you guys
screaming at each other a
minute ago?
ERIC:
Were we? Figures.
Beat.
ERIC:
Sorry I chewed you out earlier.
PRESTO shrugs.
ERIC:
You know I trust you. Seems
these days like you're the only
one who knows what they're
doing.
ERIC yawns.
ERIC:
Funny how you never wanted...
never wanted to be...
A look of panic flickers over PRESTO's face. He leans in on ERIC.
PRESTO:
(quietly)
To be what?
The back door flies open of its own accord, then slams shut again immediately. The boys barely notice it.
ERIC:
Leader.
PRESTO relaxes.
PRESTO:
I'm not...
A chair near the door is knocked onto its side. BARMAN, PRESTO and ERIC turn to look at it.
SHEILA:
(invisible)
Oops! (giggles)
The back door swings open again, this time shortly followed by a sodden HANK. He looks around the tavern, grinning.
HANK:
Where is she?
HANK looks towards the fallen chair. Close on the floor near the chair. Wet footprints and drips from SHEILA's cloak give her away. On HANK, approaching the fallen chair.
HANK:
Ah-ha!
HANK makes a flailing grab at thin air above the wet footprints.
SHEILA:
(invisible, shrieks gleefully)
The wet footprints slide over to the bar. There is a thud, and a couple of glasses on the bar fall over.
HANK makes another grab at the bar, finds something in his hands, and pulls. SHEILA is uncloaked unceremoniously but giggling hysterically.
HANK:
There she is!
HANK picks the still giggling SHEILA up in a fireman's lift.
SHEILA:
(screams)
No! No! I'll throw up!
HANK begins to jog SHEILA up and down as he chants.
HANK:
Time for Red! Time for bed!
Time for you to give me...
HANK spots ERIC and PRESTO, watching them.
HANK:
Hey you guys.
ERIC:
Bedtime, huh?
HANK:
Yep. We're terribly sleepy.
HANK grins at them, then begins enthusiastically climbing the stairs, with SHEILA still draped helplessly over his shoulder.
HANK:
Say "goodnight", Sheila.
SHEILA cheerfully waves back at the others.
SHEILA:
Goodnight, Sheila!
On PRESTO, ERIC and the sleeping DIANA.
PRESTO & ERIC:
Night.
The door upstairs slams shut.
Beat.
PRESTO:
Are... are they actually happy?
ERIC:
(sighs)
Not again, Presto.
PRESTO:
C'mon. They tell you stuff.
ERIC:
You gotta get over her, man.
It's just not healthy...
(snorts a laugh)
Said the pot to the kettle.
PRESTO:
Hey. At least your obsession's
over a single girl who seems to
be interested in you.
ERIC:
Well if it's so Meant To Be,
where is it?
Beat. ERIC and PRESTO look at each other and laugh a little.
ERIC:
God, we're a couple of losers.
PRESTO stands and ruffles ERIC's hair.
PRESTO:
That's why I love ya.
PRESTO heads over to the bar.
ERIC:
(half to himself)
It's all about you and me,
Presto. S'all about you and me.
On PRESTO, at the bar. He smiles sadly to himself.
PRESTO:
Yeah, right.
BARMAN:
You still want more drink?
PRESTO rubs his eyes.
PRESTO:
Water. Please.
The BARMAN pours him some tap water.
BARMAN:
Good idea.
BARMAN passes PRESTO the water. PRESTO drinks
BARMAN:
Seems like everybody's coupled
up. All except you.
PRESTO:
Tell me something I don't know.
It's all just mathematics.
There was bound to be someone
left over.
PRESTO fixes BARMAN with a stare.
PRESTO:
After all, seven is an odd
number.
BARMAN meets his gaze.
BARMAN:
I don't know what you mean.
PRESTO:
You know who we are. You all
did. That's why you kept us
here, not to help us. I bet
this Old Tom doesn't even
exist.
BARMAN:
Old Tom wouldn't thank you for
saying that, young Wizard.
Admittedly, I knew he wouldn't
be out in this weather. But
neither should you. You must
excuse me, but I found the
tales of your adventures so
marvellous that I jumped at the
chance to be honoured with your
companies for one night. My
horse and trap are already
loaded for me to take you
youngsters into town to look
for the Barbarian tomorrow
morning, Check if you like.
PRESTO finishes the water and hands the BARMAN his cup back.
PRESTO:
That won't be necessary.
PRESTO wanders back to the armchair.
PRESTO:
Whad'I do if you were lying?
Puke on you? I'm tired.
PRESTO looks at DIANA and ERIC, now also fast asleep.
BARMAN:
You going to bed then?
SFX:
A rhythmic squeaking of
bedsprings becomes audible.
PRESTO:
(pointing upwards)
I'm not goin' up there.
PRESTO takes off his glasses and puts them on ERIC. Amused by this, he settles down on the floor in front of the fire.
PRESTO:
So do you still think we're
marvellous?
On BARMAN, putting away the last cups.
BARMAN:
Well, your language is
terrible, your singing's worse
and none of you can handle your
drink, but if it was you who
rid this world of Venger's
tyranny, then I praise the
Fates for bringing you back
again. We need the Seven.
On PRESTO, nodding off.
PRESTO:
Yeah, yeah. Terrible evil blah
blah, Furnus blah blah, nothing
safe blah blah, never sleep
sound again blah blah blah...
The BARMAN goes over to PRESTO, squats down and looks carefully at him. PRESTO has dozed off, but his lips still move silently.
SFX:
The creaking accelerates.
The BARMAN, frowning, gets up to leave. He looks at the couple in the chair. Both are troubled in their sleep. DIANA's legs twitch involuntarily. ERIC whimpers. Two words are legible.
ERIC:
...stop it... stop...
CUT TO
EXT: Outside Lilac's stables, Morning.
It is very early morning. The rain has stopped, but left a grey haze over everything. LILAC is in very masculine riding gear - a leather tunic and breeches. Her hair is tied back. She waits outside the stables with a brown, saddled horse. BOBBY emerges from the stables, leading UNI, unsaddled.
LILAC:
She's not saddled.
BOBBY:
You can't saddle a Unicorn.
They're too proud.
LILAC:
Very well. You can ride one of
my horses, and Uni can tag
along.
UNI snorts and bends down by BOBBY.
BOBBY:
Guess she's too proud for that
too.
BOBBY gets on UNI's back and she rises. BOBBY sits a little wobbly, unused to riding bareback.
BOBBY:
So what happens when we find
'em? To us?
LILAC smiles at him and mounts her own horse.
LILAC:
Let's leave that worry til
later. Right now, you and I are
here together, but the Seven
are apart. How are you supposed
to fight Furnus like that?
There is a massive explosion, off. The horses in the stables panic. LILAC and BOBBY have difficulty keeping their mounts under control.
CUT TO
EXT The Mansion, Day.
Long shot of the mansion as seen from the stables. In the middle distance a large section of the mansion is still exploding. A tower of flame rises from the centre of it. LILAC and BOBBY ride into the foreground.
BOBBY:
Woah! What is that?
LILAC:
That used to be my kitchen!
BOBBY:
That's not what I mean. I
mean...
Two large figures become visible in the tower of flame. They rise up with it, battling, hurling spheres of energy at each other, which form the explosions. One is dark and winged. The other is very bright, brighter than the rest of the fire.
BOBBY:
(O/S)
Oh shit. I mean, what is that?
On LILAC and BOBBY, watching, aghast.
LILAC:
Those are... Demons. Do you
recognise them?
On the distant figures fighting within the tower of flame. The dark figure is hit so hard with one energy bolt from the bright figure that it is thrown way out of the flame and sent sailing, like a rag doll, towards us (and the watching couple). As it approaches it becomes obvious that the stricken figure is VENGER. He hits the ground face down nearby and skids to a halt just in front of BOBBY and LILAC. VENGER looks up, dazed.
BOBBY:
Him I know.
BOBBY looks up at the column of flame. The bright figure
spreads its arms and effortlessly floats from the fire towards them.
BOBBY:
The other guy, not so much.
VENGER, struggling, gets up.
VENGER:
Go!
The bright figure is getting closer.
BOBBY:
Who is that, Venger?
VENGER:
Just go!
BOBBY:
Hey, is that...
VENGER takes off, but fumes at BOBBY over his shoulder.
VENGER:
Begone, child!
VENGER flies up to meet the bright figure, blocking it from BOBBY's view with his dark wings.
BOBBY:
Hey!
CUT TO
INT The tavern, Day.
On PRESTO, ERIC and DIANA, still asleep in front of the grate. ERIC is still wearing Presto's glasses. A bell starts ringing loudly. All three sleepers wake up suddenly. DIANA clutches her head in agony, ERIC and PRESTO both stare about themselves in panic.
PRESTO:
I'm blind!
ERIC:
I'm blind!
ERIC and PRESTO both put their hands up to their eyes.
DIANA:
My head!
PRESTO realises that his glasses aren't there, ERIC takes the glasses off and blinks.
PRESTO & ERIC:
Oh.
ERIC gives PRESTO back his glasses.
DIANA:
What's that ringing?
BARMAN enters, all of a fluster, still buttoning up his clothes. HANK and SHEILA stumble downstairs, hungover.
BARMAN:
Fire at the Lord's Manor in
town! A big one, it's reckoned.
It's all hands on deck. You can
ride in with me.
PRESTO frowns to himself. SHEILA clutches her stomach.
SHEILA:
Eww. I'll be sick in a cart.
PRESTO:
How long'll it take?
BARMAN:
About an hour if we're lucky.
PRESTO:
That's no good.
HANK:
What do you mean?
On PRESTO, his eyes shut in concentration.
PRESTO:
I think Bob's there. At the
fire. He's... in trouble.
Longer shot of the group. SHEILA clutches HANK's arm.
SHEILA:
In trouble? How?
PRESTO:
Somebody's there...
PRESTO starts. His eyes spring open.
PRESTO:
Shit!
DIANA:
What's going on? Who's where?
PRESTO:
Everybody gather round me.
The KIDS and BARMAN oblige, confused. PRESTO holds out his hands, which spark with magic.
PRESTO:
Hands.
ERIC, DIANA and BARMAN take PRESTO's left hand, HANK and SHEILA take his right.
PRESTO:
Eric, this is gonna hurt.
ERIC:
Wha..?
PRESTO blinks, hard. The magic around his hands explodes into a flash of green.
CUT TO
EXT Outside the burning Manor, Day.
The flash disappears as suddenly as it came, and the KIDS and BARMAN are standing a little way off from the burning manor house and the battle within. Explosions from it are reflected on their faces, as is the winged shadow of VENGER. ERIC gasps in pain, grabbing at his burning shoulder.
ERIC:
Ow! Son of a...
(To PRESTO)
Nice warning, Man!
PRESTO shrugs apologetically, releasing the others' hands.
HANK:
What did you just do?
PRESTO:
We had no time to spare.
HANK:
Do you mean, you coulda done
that all along?
PRESTO:
No, I... couldn't locate Bob
before now.
BOBBY and LILAC ride up to them.
BOBBY:
Hey, guys. Where've you been?
(indicating BARMAN)
Who's this guy?
BARMAN bows.
BARMAN:
My Lord.
LILAC:
He's an Innkeeper from the
farmlands.
BOBBY:
An Innkeeper? I've been risking
my life, fighting Orcs and
Demons and you guys... went to
a bar?
DIANA:
Pretty much.
SHEILA:
(indicating LILAC)
Who's that?
BOBBY dismounts UNI, angry.
BOBBY:
Don't you "who's that" me, all
stinking of booze!
SHEILA:
I only asked...
VENGER lands beside PRESTO. ERIC mutters profanities under his breath.
VENGER:
Why did you come back? You are
still not ready yet.
DIANA:
What do you mean, "not ready"?
HANK:
What do you mean, "yet"?
PRESTO squares off to VENGER.
PRESTO:
I don't care. I couldn't leave
Bob and Uni to face it alone.
HANK:
OK, you two are talking like
you had some sort of secret
plan worked out.
SHEILA puts a hand on HANK's shoulder.
SHEILA:
Hank don't...
HANK shakes her hand away.
HANK:
No! I'm still supposed to be in
charge and I'd like to know
what the fuck's going on here.
DIANA:
Hey. The bar was your idea.
BOBBY:
Why doesn't that surprise me?
HANK:
What's that supposed to mean?
BOBBY:
Tell him, Sheila.
On SHEILA, lost for words. HANK turns on her
HANK:
Tell me what, Sheila?
PRESTO breaks them up.
PRESTO:
People? Bigger picture!
Longer shot on the entire group.
SHEILA:
Everyone's shouting at me...
VENGER:
You would be wise to list...
ERIC:
Hey, who the fuck asked you?
DIANA:
Eric...
PRESTO:
Guys!
ERIC:
He's trying to talk like the
old man...
PRESTO:
Guys...
VENGER:
(snapping)
WILL YOU...
PRESTO:
(also snapping)
PLEASE, JUST...
On LILAC. Something above her catches her eye. Her upturned face becomes illuminated. Her eyes gape in horror.
LILAC:
Get down!
Longer shot on the group. A massive fireball swoops over them. Everybody throws themself to the ground before it hits, bar LILAC, who, still mounted, manages to steer her horse far enough away from it. The group on the ground are protected by a three man barrier - ERIC's shield, and magical fields wielded by PRESTO and VENGER. The fireball passes them. There is a moment of shocked stillness before they all look up. When they do, there is an orange light on their faces.
Low angle on FURNUS, rising up above them, her arms outstretched.
High angle on the group.
HANK:
You are fucking kidding.
DIANA:
That's Furnus, huh?
VENGER:
That is she.
ERIC:
Furnus is a girl?
VENGER:
Would you refer to me as a boy?
ERIC just gives VENGER a Look.
VENGER:
Then Furnus is no girl.
BOBBY gets up, his club ready.
BOBBY:
I don't care what she is. She
killed DM. She's gonna pay.
On FURNUS.
FURNUS:
Venger. What is this? Why is
the child upset?
VENGER stands. One by one, so do the others.
VENGER:
They are angry with you,
Furnus. You killed their tutor.
My father. These are the Seven
warriors of the Dungeon Master.
They have returned to bring
this world back into the light
once more.
On FURNUS. She eyes them all.
FURNUS:
The Seven have come back? And
they stand before me to fight?
On the group. The KIDS all share a moment of pride, the BARMAN fidgets nervously.
HANK:
All present and correct.
BARMAN:
Um, except me.
HANK:
Except him. He runs a pub.
On FURNUS. She frowns.
FURNUS:
But... this cannot be.
Wider shot. The KIDS smile at each other.
FURNUS:
I mean... that's it?
The KIDS faces fall.
BOBBY:
What?
FURNUS:
This is the best your pathetic
father could muster, Venger?
Why, they're just bedraggled
pups. Tired and wounded.
(laughs)
Either spent or drunk or both.
VENGER steps forward.
VENGER:
There is also me.
FURNUS:
And you are just a friendless,
powerless fraction of the great
creature I used to know. My
master is most disappointed.
(laughs again)
I was supposed to finish these
"great warriors" off at first
sight, but under the
circumstances, I believe I can
permit myself a little...
sport. Killing the old man was
far too easy for my liking.
FURNUS floats up, her fire begins to implode.
FURNUS:
(fading in body and voice)
I shall tell the others.
HANK:
"Others"?
FURNUS:
(still fading)
This should be... fun.
On VENGER, pointing a furious finger at FURNUS.
VENGER:
Do not underestimate them,
Furnus. They defeated me as
untrained children. Only a fool
would toy with them now!
DIANA and BOBBY, next to him, react, flabbergasted.
DIANA:
Are you actually advising her
on how to kill us?
VENGER thinks about this. He looks almost embarrassed.
VENGER:
Oh. Right.
(calls up to FURNUS)
I mean...
BOBBY:
She's gone.
On the smouldering Mansion. FURNUS is indeed gone, along with the fire.
CUT TO
EXT: The Mansion's front door, Day.
BOBBY and LILAC are saying goodbye. The front door is a little charred.
BOBBY:
Sorry about your house.
LILAC shrugs.
LILAC:
I can fix it. At least that
devil put it out when she went.
BOBBY:
We will destroy her.
LILAC:
Not if I find her first.
BOBBY hugs LILAC.
BOBBY:
I'll see you again, right?
LILAC:
You know where I am...
SHEILA, ERIC & DIANA:
(O/S, cutting her off)
Woooo!
BOBBY breaks out of the hug.
BOBBY:
Piss off, you guys.
On the other KIDS, UNI and the BARMAN, already slowly wandering off, but grinning at BOBBY.
SHEILA:
We're sorry, Bobby.
The KIDS laugh amongst themselves. BOBBY runs up to join SHEILA, but turns to wave to LILAC, O/S. An OLD MAN watches as they pass and calls out to BARMAN.
OLD MAN:
What's all this, Inkeep?
BARMAN:
You wouldn't believe if I told
you, Old Tom.
Close on LILAC, smiling sadly and waving goodbye. She lets her hand fall, takes a brief moment, then turns back to start repairing her house. She almost walks straight into VENGER, who stands just behind her. LILAC jumps.
LILAC:
Oh!
VENGER:
My Lord.
LILAC:
What do you want?
VENGER:
You had no relations with the
Barbarian. When people ask, you
tell them you were attacked by
strange men.
LILAC:
What?
VENGER:
The instructions of the Dungeon
Master. Do not attempt to
contact the boy again. For your
own sake, and his.
LILAC:
I don't under...
VENGER:
And for the safety of your
unborn child.
On LILAC, her face frozen in shock and fear.
CUT TO BLACK.