EPISODE 1: The Call Home (part 1 of 3)
**SWEAT**
INT: Hospital Ward, Night.
BRENDA, a nurse, is at a desk at the reception of the ward. A gangly, brown haired young man in dark clothes goes up to her, with his back to us.
YOUNG MAN:
Uh, excuse me? I got a call.
I'm here to see...
BRENDA looks up as he speaks and breaks into a welcoming smile.
BRENDA:
Oh, Hey. You must be Presto.
CUT TO
The YOUNG MAN face on. It is indeed PRESTO, now aged 20. He has grown taller but remains skinny and awkward looking. He still has glasses and gap teeth. He has a small goatee and is dressed in black. He has a pentagram necklace and a T-shirt which reads "NEIGHBOURHOOD WITCH". PRESTO grins sheepishly.
PRESTO:
He told you I'm a Wiccan, then.
BRENDA:
No, your T-shirt did. I thought
Presto was a funny sorta name.
I would have asked him about
it, only he's having problems
stringing sentences together
right now.
PRESTO:
Geez. Will he be OK?
BRENDA gets up from her desk and leads PRESTO through the ward.
BRENDA:
We've pumped his stomach, but
he's still very unwell. The
doctors wanted him to wait
until a psyche could see him,
but he just keeps on yelling
about going home.
PRESTO:
They think he's crazy? He's not
crazy. And he's not an
alcoholic either.
BRENDA:
They were just concerned. They
probably felt kinda responsible
to be honest with you. Those
same doctors had been
there when he'd seen his Dad,
and they found his reaction...
abnormal.
PRESTO:
They wouldn't if they knew him.
BRENDA:
He calmly identified his
father's body, went back to an
empty house, then proceeded to
get completely wasted as
quickly as possible before
wandering into the street
muttering gibberish about
broken fairground rides and
magical dwarves and eight foot
high winged demons until he
passed out in a pool of vomit.
Tell me that's not normal.
PRESTO:
Guess you don't know Eric
either.
BRENDA and PRESTO have stopped outside a curtained booth. A low moan can be heard repeating a mantra from behind it. The voice belongs to ERIC.
ERIC:
(O/S)
...wanna go home... I wanna go
home... I wanna go...
BRENDA:
I know that he wants to go
home.
BRENDA pulls the curtain across.
C/U of PRESTO's reaction, dismayed.
PRESTO:
Aw, shit.
On ERIC, crouched on the far end of the hospital bed. ERIC is now 21, but besides the inevitable growing taller and filling out a bit has physically changed fairly little. He is presently wasted and apparently terrified. His eyes are glazed, his head is in his hands and rocks back and forth, repeating his mantra over and over. His sweater is spattered with vomit and mud. PRESTO runs over to him and puts his hand on ERIC's shoulder. ERIC reacts, his head shooting up, his eyes vague for a moment. Then they settle on PRESTO. ERIC blinks, then smiles in grateful recognition.
ERIC:
Presto!
PRESTO:
What've you done to yourself,
Eric?
ERIC:
I have to home. Take me home.
PRESTO:
You knew me and Bobby were
still in town. You shoulda
called us in the first place.
What made you decide to be
alone at a time like this?
PRESTO takes ERIC's hands.
ERIC:
I need to go home.
PRESTO sighs and gets up.
PRESTO:
OK. I'll take you home. But I'm
staying with you, OK? You don't
want to go to hospital a third
time today, huh?
ERIC:
Take me home.
PRESTO faces BRENDA.
BRENDA:
He always this persistent?
PRESTO:
You have no idea. Did he have
keys?
BRENDA picks a wallet up from the bedside cabinet of Eric's booth and presents it to PRESTO.
BRENDA:
He had a wallet. Could be in
there.
PRESTO opens Eric's wallet and retrieves a set of keys. Something else catches his eye and he takes out what looks like a dog-eared, folded piece of card. He unfolds what turns out to be an old photograph. As he does, he doesn't notice that another, smaller piece of paper that had been caught in the folds flutters to the floor. The photo is of the old gang, the age they were around the time of their first adventures. They are all sitting together around a circular pizzaria table, smiling. PRESTO runs his fingers over it tenderly.
BRENDA:
Hey!
BRENDA bends down and picks up the smaller piece of paper.
BRENDA:
You dropped this. Wow! That sly
old dog never mentioned a
girlfriend.
PRESTO:
He doesn't have one.
BRENDA:
Oh yeah? Then who's the fox?
BRENDA shows PRESTO her find - a passport sized photo, taken in a photo booth, of ERIC and DIANA. To have fit into the booth she must have been sitting on his knee. They are both laughing.
PRESTO:
That's Diana. She's... she's
probably the reason why there
isn't a girlfriend.
BRENDA:
Oh. I see. Can't say I blame
him, though. She is a honey!
PRESTO:
(to himself)
Huh. You should see the other
one.
BRENDA:
What?
PRESTO:
Nothing. We should be going...
PRESTO takes the photo back and turns to go.
BRENDA:
You're not gonna wait for the
psyche?
PRESTO:
He doesn't need it.
BRENDA:
Did you know about the abuse?
PRESTO spins round.
PRESTO:
Abuse?!?
BRENDA:
We think there was some. We
found the biggest burn mark
going halfway down his back.
PRESTO:
Oh, that? That's years old.
BRENDA:
It's not, Presto. It was fresh
as a daisy. Couple of weeks old
if that...
PRESTO:
...a couple of weeks ago he was
away in college....
BRENDA:
...and when we asked who did it
to him, he said that it was
some giant, one horned demon
called Venger.
At the mention of Venger, ERIC begins to rock and moan again.
BRENDA:
Call me cynical, but I doubt
that that was the case. Seems
to me like this Venger
character's a projection of a
real flesh and blood devil. And
frankly all evidence points at
Daddy Dearest, may he rest in
peace.
PRESTO takes ERIC's arm and guides him up.
PRESTO:
Look, Brenda, thanks for your
concern, but I remember Eric
getting that scar when we were
still kids. It was on a broken
funfair ride that we got stuck
on. That Venger thing was a
part of the ride. The part that
ended up burning him. Sorta
traumatised him. He often
brings it up when he's drunk.
Can we go now?
BRENDA:
I can't stop you, but I
wouldn't advise it.
PRESTO walks past her, Eric leaning on him for support.
PRESTO:
Uh-huh. See ya.
CUT TO
EXT The Front Drive of Eric's house, Night
Eric's "house" is a mansion. It looks dark, gothic and foreboding. A taxi pulls up and PRESTO gets out, lugging ERIC along with him. PRESTO quickly pays the taxi driver and helps ERIC to the front door. PRESTO begins fumbling for the right keys.
ERIC:
...gotta go home...
PRESTO:
For Pete's sake, Eric, you are
home! Stop going on about it!
ERIC:
...I gotta go home...
PRESTO:
Yeah, nice job with that nurse
by the way. They wanted
to get a shrink in to see you.
We agreed, we don't talk about
Venger or Dungeon Master or
anything to do with that
Godforsaken realm with anyone
but each other. Else we'll all
end up in One Flew Over The
Cuckoo's Nest City. Ya dumb...
ERIC:
...home...
PRESTO:
Oh God you're annoying!
PRESTO finally uses the correct key. It turns
PRESTO:
There! At last.
CUT TO
INT The Front Lobby of Eric's house, Night
The front lobby is dark. Close on the door as PRESTO opens it and switches on the light.
PRESTO:
You're home...
PRESTO's voice trails off as he surveys the devastation. PAN OUT so that we see it too. Chairs are scattered and broken, torn papers are everywhere, there is broken glass on the floor, including an empty liquor bottle or two. On one wall a large, imposing portrait of a middle aged man who looks distressingly like Eric looks sternly down.
ERIC begins to moan again.
ERIC:
No... No... Not here. It isn't
here...
PRESTO:
Holy crap. Ya give the maid a
day off and look what happens.
ERIC:
...no, no, no....
PRESTO begins to lead ERIC through the lobby.
PRESTO:
Did you do this, Eric?
ERIC:
Gotta have a wake for the old
bastard.
PRESTO:
Wow, Eric, you just made sense.
They pass under the portrait. ERIC goes into a violent fit, raging at the picture.
ERIC:
(screaming, suddenly)
WAKE UP! Wake up, Dad! Wake up!
PRESTO struggles to keep hold of ERIC.
PRESTO:
OK,OK, spoke too soon. We don't
like the picture, I get it.
PRESTO guides ERIC further through the lobby, away from the portrait. ERIC falls out of the rage as suddenly as he flew into it and becomes pie-eyed and helpless again.
PRESTO:
All right then, you crazy
drunken millionaire, let's get
you to bed.
Beat
PRESTO:
Say, where the Hell's your
bedroom, anyway?
ERIC:
South wing.
PRESTO looks about him in the gloom.
PRESTO:
And, uh, where's that?
ERIC:
(irritably)
In the South.
PRESTO:
OK then, let's just wander
around aimlessly until it starts
getting warmer.
With ERIC still in tow, PRESTO staggers over to a door at random and tries it.
PRESTO:
That's a closet...
He tries another door.
PRESTO:
Hey! You have a Billiard Room!
He tries another door.
PRESTO:
And a giant aquarium for no
reason.
PRESTO shuts the door.
PRESTO:
(sighs)
Here I am again, hopelessly
lost with you in big dark
creepy old castle. It's just
like old times.
ERIC coughs up bile and passes out. PRESTO can't hold him and watches him slump, deadpan.
CUT TO:
INT Eric's room, Night.
PRESTO, with a now semi-concious ERIC supported on a shoulder, opens the door to the room. He switches on a light. The room is large and messy. There is a large bed, a sofa, a big TV, etc. Also a beureau with a couple of framed photos on it and a pinboard covered in notes, newspaper cuttings and more photos. On the floor there is a hastily unpacked holdall, a couple more empty liquor bottles and some fencing trophies, which have been knocked over. PRESTO picks his way towards the bed.
PRESTO:
Hmm. College books, fencing
trophies, pictures with you
in... I think we've hit the
jackpot at last.
PRESTO deposits ERIC on the bed and searches through the mess.
PRESTO:
You got pens and paper in this
fancy bachelor pad?
ERIC points drunkenly at the beureau.
ERIC:
Mm Brr Rhrr...
PRESTO searches the beureau.
PRESTO:
Vowels might help. Hey.
PRESTO pulls a pen and paper from the desk.
PRESTO:
There's some in the beureau.
ERIC:
Bleh.
PRESTO:
Shut up, Uni.
ERIC:
(faintly smiling)
Meh.
PRESTO picks his way back to ERIC.
PRESTO:
OK, Eric...
PRESTO perches on the end of the bed.
PRESTO:
Let's get you sorted out a
little.
PRESTO helps ERIC take off his sweater and turns him onto his stomach. PRESTO winces a little when he sees ERIC's back.
PRESTO:
Youch.
Close on ERIC's naked back. There is an enormous burn mark over much of the right side of his back. A clean curve runs from the top of his shoulder to below his ribcage on the right. It fits the way his old shield would have were it slung over his right shoulder. The area that would have been thus shielded is still white and untouched. Outside of that the burn runs in angry red feathers left towards his spine and down towards his hips. The effect is as though he had one folded, crimson wing. PRESTO very gently touches the burnt skin. ERIC gasps in pain. PRESTO jerks his fingers back.
PRESTO:
Sorry. That has flared up,
hasn't it?
PRESTO takes the top off the pen.
PRESTO:
Well, I can't do much about
that, but let's see if I can't
make you a little more
comfortable.
PRESTO begins to draw strange rune symbols over ERIC's kidneys.
PRESTO:
This is a detox spell. It'll
help you clear all that alcohol
out of yourself. You'll
probably wake up without so
much as a hangover.
PRESTO turns ERIC back over and draws a similar rune on a piece of paper.
PRESTO:
And let's see if we can't do
the same with that messed up
noodle of yours...
PRESTO places the paper onto ERIC's forehead. ERIC's eyes suddenly shoot open, focused and alert. He looks and feels around himself frantically. PRESTO is taken aback.
PRESTO:
Woah.
ERIC:
(sober, but urgent)
Presto. Where is it?
PRESTO:
Where's what?
ERIC:
My shield. And where's your
hat?
PRESTO:
We left our weapons behind when
we got out of the realm, Eric.
That was seven years ago. Don't
you remember?
ERIC:
We're gonna need them. Where
are the others?
PRESTO:
I called the others. They're
coming tomorrow. What do you
mean, we're gonna need them?
We're safe now. We're home.
ERIC:
You know that's not true. He's
been calling you, as well.
PRESTO:
I don't understand. This is
your home, Eric.
ERIC:
It's Eric's home. But not the
Cavalier's. Or the Magician's.
PRESTO:
But I am the Magician, and
you're the Cavalier. At least,
we were. Maybe we left those
names behind with the weapons.
I don't know.
ERIC picks up the one standing fencing trophy
ERIC:
Then how do you explain this?
ERIC lets the trophy fall. PRESTO shrugs.
PRESTO:
You got into fencing because
you'd seen other knights do it
in the realm, I'd guess. And
you've always had a knack for
ducking and weaving...
ERIC:
And your magic?
PRESTO:
I always liked magic.
ERIC:
Yeah, but before it was card
tricks. Sleight of hand. Now
it's the real deal. Face it, we
took our realm selves with us
when we went back. All this
time they've been training up.
And now he's calling them back.
PRESTO shakes his head.
ERIC:
You know what I'm talking
about.
PRESTO, horrified, snatches the paper from ERIC's forehead. ERIC immediately falls into a drunken sleep. PRESTO watches him for a beat, his hand at his mouth.
PRESTO:
I thought I was the only one.
PRESTO sighs, then drags a chair over to the side of the bed. He sits on the chair, then gets out a pack of tarot cards from a pocket. He shuffles them momentarily, then begins to lay them out on the bed, watching ERIC sleep.
PRESTO:
Oh I do not like this.
PRESTO takes the folded photo out, lays it on the bed, reshuffles the cards and deals them again, this time looking at the photo. He peers at the cards, then shuts his eyes and slumps sadly.
PRESTO:
We are in big trouble.
CUT TO
EXT Train Station, Day
DIANA is getting off a train. She is now 21 and has also changed little. She is athletically built, perhaps a little voluptuous for a gymnast. Her hair is longer and sleeker, adding to a very feline appearance. She carries a couple of large bags, as though she's planning to make a stay of several days. She also carries a dark skirt suit in protective covers. She peers up the platform.
BOBBY:
(O/S)
You're in big trouble, Diana!
DIANA turns the other way and sees BOBBY and SHEILA waiting for her. SHEILA, also 21, is still the same old Sheila, again, a little taller and fuller. BOBBY, at 16, is barely recognisable. He is enormous in height and build. He obviously works out a Hell of a lot. His dark blond hair is now cropped close. However, he still has the same freckles and broad grin he did as a little kid.
DIANA:
Bobby! Sheila!
DIANA hugs BOBBY first, then SHEILA.
BOBBY:
For the last time, it's "Bob".
SHEILA:
Welcome home.
DIANA:
Where's Hank?
SHEILA:
There was nowhere to park, so
he's waiting with the car.
How's college going?
DIANA:
Great! How are you and Hank
doing?
SHEILA:
Oh, OK....
DIANA:
Still hasn't proposed, huh?
BOBBY:
Diana...
SHEILA:
C'mon, Diana, you know we're
not gonna think about that
stuff until we've both
graduated and got decent jobs.
BOBBY:
So the way Hank's going that
won't be til you're at least
thirty, huh, Sheila?
SHEILA:
Bobby!
DIANA:
(laughing)
Now you're the one in trouble,
Bob.
BOBBY takes DIANA's bags.
BOBBY:
Think I'll take your bags to
the car.
BOBBY goes off ahead of the girls.
DIANA:
Careful with my funeral suit!
SHEILA:
You brought a funeral suit?
DIANA:
Figured I'd stay at least that
long.
BOBBY:
(calling over his shoulder)
He's gonna kill you!
DIANA:
Maybe, but he'll need help
organising. And a shoulder to
cry on.
SHEILA:
Eric cries? News to me.
The girls put their arms around each other and follow BOBBY.
CUT TO
EXT Eric's front drive, Day.
PRESTO opens the front door to SHEILA, BOBBY and DIANA. HANK is hidden behind BOBBY's massive frame.
PRESTO:
Hey guys. Oh Diana, you are in
deep shit.
DIANA shrugs.
DIANA:
Couldn't not come.
SHEILA:
How is he?
PRESTO:
Not so much as a hangover. Come
in.
CUT TO
INT Eric's front lobby, Day
The kids follow PRESTO through now tidied lobby, HANK still in the rear, obscured.
PRESTO:
Although I have to warn you,
he's being very Eric about the
whole thing.
CUT TO
INT A Grand hall, Eric's house, Day.
Long shot, high angle. The kids enter a huge, empty hall with echoing wooden floors. They approach ERIC, who is at the far end of the hall with his back to them, having a blazing argument over the telephone. His voice is at first distant and echoey but becomes clearer as they get closer.
ERIC:
I understand it would be
expensive, but I told you, I'm
willing to pay for your flight
here and back. Pierre's too.
Beat.
ERIC:
Phillipe then. Where'd I get
Pierre from? Oh, that was last
month. I see. Whatever, you can
bring him along if you... It'd
only be a couple of days!
Beat.
ERIC:
I know it's a long flight! I
remember, I visited you at
Christmas... I don't care how
long it had been since you
spoke to him. You were married
to the guy for thirteen years,
you had a kid by him for
Chrissake, and don't you think
that maybe that kid would like
for his own mother to be with
him at his father's funeral?
Beat.
ERIC:
No. I'm not on my own. My
friends are here. Yes, those
friends. No, she has a final to
sit...
C/U on DIANA, apprehensive.
ERIC:
(O/S)
Don't call her that.
On ERIC, fuming, his back still turned.
ERIC:
Look, will you just come? I'm
not gonna beg you, Mom.
Please?... Fine. Enjoy your
skiing. Yes, I was being
sarcastic.
ERIC slams the phone down and squeezes the bridge of his nose. Aware that SHEILA is creeping up behind him, he composes himself and fixes a big brave fake smile before finally turning round to greet his friends.
ERIC:
Parents...
He gets this far before he is met with a full on SHEILA hug. The force of it throws him slightly off balance.
ERIC:
...if they're not dropping dead
of heart attacks, they're off
taking ten year long vacations
in Europe.
SHEILA:
She's probably just pissed off
that the Alimony cheques are
gonna stop coming in.
ERIC:
I know. Now she has to marry
some other millionaire and
spawn some other poor ugly brat
that she can screw up and dump.
SHEILA:
Don't be so hard on yourself,
Eric. You're not poor.
ERIC grins and kisses SHEILA's cheek.
ERIC:
You're sweet.
ERIC is released by SHEILA only to be instantly bear-hugged by BOBBY.
ERIC:
Hey, Hank.
BOBBY pulls out of the hug and gives him a quizzical look.
BOBBY:
"Hank"?!?
ERIC blinks.
ERIC:
Bob. Of course. God, I don't
know why I always get you two
mixed up these days. It's not
as if you look alike...
HANK, now 22, appears over BOBBY's shoulder. The change in HANK is astronomical. He is now fairly skinny, with a pot beer belly. His skin is pasty, his hair is lank and long. He has a half hearted beard. He is dressed in shabby beach bum type clothes. His piercing blue eyes are tired looking and bloodshot.
ERIC:
Hank. Hi.
HANK:
Hey, Man.
ERIC and HANK hug, a little awkwardly. ERIC sees something over HANK's shoulder and double takes.
ERIC:
What the...
ERIC's POV: DIANA gives him a sweet smile and a little wave.
Back on ERIC.
ERIC:
What the Hell is she doing
here?
DIANA:
Nice to see you too, Eric.
ERIC storms over to DIANA.
ERIC:
Jesus Christ, Diana, what's the
matter with you? Has it slipped
your mind that you have an
English exam you should be in
right now?
On BOBBY, nudging DIANA.
BOBBY:
Told you.
On ERIC and DIANA, facing off.
DIANA:
They let me change the date.
ERIC:
Oh yeah, right. You had enough
trouble getting them to bring
your exam forward in the first
place so that you could try out
for the World Championships
this summer. I'm sure they'd be
quick to let you change it
again because some guy you
barely knew kicked the bucket.
DIANA:
Well I didn't put it to them
like that.
ERIC:
But that's the truth, Diana.
DIANA:
Then maybe I lied.
ERIC:
Lied how?
DIANA:
I... told them it was a family
crisis. Which it practically
is.
ERIC:
Uh-huh. Well we'd make a pretty
funny looking brother and
sister.
DIANA:
I didn't tell them you were my
brother. I...
She hesitates. ERIC raises an eyebrow impatiently. The others await her explanation with amused interest.
DIANA:
...I told them you were my
boyfriend, OK?
BOBBY laughs. ERIC suppresses a blush.
ERIC:
Oh.
DIANA:
I could hardly explain the real
reason why we're all so close.
So if anybody from my college
calls, we've been dating since
the end of High School, and you
don't know about any of the
other guys.
ERIC's expression becomes irritable again.
ERIC:
Other guys? My pretend
girlfriend's been cheating on
me?
On SHEILA. She shoots a mischievous glance at HANK.
SHEILA:
(whispers conspiratorially)
It took 'em less than a minute.
You owe me a buck.
HANK raises his eyebrows and smiles humourlessly.
On DIANA. She smiles and plays along with ERIC, putting a hand on his cheek.
DIANA:
Casual flings, baby, that's
all. I was thinking of you all
the while. Forgive me?
ERIC narrows his eyes. DIANA pouts.
ERIC:
Don't pout. You know
I'm a
sucker for that.
DIANA flutters her eyelashes. ERIC frowns.
ERIC:
Gimme some sugar.
DIANA kisses his nose. ERIC remains stern.
ERIC:
I forgive you.
PRESTO comes in-between them.
PRESTO:
Great. We're all friends again.
On the kids, standing in a cluster in the massive, empty room.
SHEILA:
God. How long's it been since
we've all been together like
this?
BOBBY:
Too long. You know, I keep on
having dreams about being back
in the realm these days?
PRESTO's face falls. HANK and SHEILA share a concerned glance. ERIC and DIANA start.
DIANA:
You too?
PRESTO:
Uh... I think we need to talk.
Who wants a coffee?
SHEILA:
I thought you'd never ask!
PRESTO begins to lead the gang towards another door at the side of the hall.
PRESTO:
I think the kitchen's over
here...
HANK hangs back and catches ERIC's arm as he passes. While the others go ahead, HANK whispers something in ERIC's ear. ERIC looks at him for a beat, then nods. HANK and ERIC sneak off in another direction.
CUT TO
INT The kitchen of Eric's house, Day.
PRESTO hands SHEILA a cup of coffee with a shy smile. SHEILA sips the coffee and breaks into a grin.
SHEILA:
Mmm! You always make the best
coffee, Presto. How d'you do
it?
PRESTO wiggles his fingers at her.
PRESTO:
Magic.
PRESTO picks up a cup of his own.
On PRESTO, SHEILA, DIANA and BOBBY, all with coffees, dispersed casually about one corner of the large kitchen. PRESTO and SHEILA lean against the work surface, DIANA sits on it, swinging her legs, BOBBY sits on a chair.
DIANA:
So what's going on, Presto?
PRESTO:
I'm not sure. But it doesn't
look good. Eric's burn has
managed to unheal itself. Last
night I put a clarity spell on
him and he started to tell me a
lot of very troubling things.
BOBBY:
Like what?
PRESTO:
Like that our realm identities,
the Ranger, the Thief, the
Barbarian, Acrobat, Cavalier,
Magician, stayed with us in
this world but are as lost here
as we were in the realm. And
that they've been training up
for something... something big.
Waiting to be called back.
The kids all become very serious.
DIANA:
We have all kept up our old
skills, haven't we?
SHEILA:
Me and Eric took up new ones.
BOBBY:
Jesus. Imagine the damage I
could do with my old club if I
ever went back now.
SHEILA:
Imagine how powerful you'd
be,
Presto.
BOBBY:
And I'd sure like to see a
dumb Orc try to tackle you
these days, Sheila.
DIANA:
Imagine!
PRESTO:
That's the trouble. I'm not
sure we're gonna have to
imagine much longer.
BOBBY:
What?
PRESTO:
You've all had the dreams,
right? DM standing in the mouth
of that stupid ride, calling
you back by your realm name,
telling you it's time, he needs
you...
DIANA:
(breathes)
Oh my God.
SHEILA:
Me and Hank had it together, on
the same night. We were
terrified! We can't go back
again, we just can't...
PRESTO:
Well I read the Tarot cards
last night, for each of us.
They all come out the same.
PRESTO looks at them all.
PRESTO:
For the first time in seven
years, our destinies have all
synched up.
DIANA:
And now the gang's all together
again.
Beat. They look at each other, aghast.
BOBBY:
OK, so we just make sure we
don't go to back to the
funfair, right?
PRESTO:
It's not that easy, Bob.
DIANA:
In fact, the funfair's probably
the one place we know the
Dungeons and Dragons ride
isn't.
BOBBY:
What?
SHEILA sighs.
SHEILA:
We didn't want to tell you at
the time, Bobby. You were
getting those nightmares about
Uni being all alone and what
Venger did to Eric...
BOBBY:
Tell me what?
SHEILA:
The ride disappeared the night
we got home. Nobody at the
funfair knew anything about it.
It hasn't been seen since.
Beat. BOBBY lets this sink in.
BOBBY:
Fuck.
SHEILA:
That's what we all said.
BOBBY:
So what do we do?
PRESTO:
I don't know.
PRESTO blinks and looks around.
PRESTO:
Where the Hell are Eric and
Hank?
CUT TO
INT Greenhouse in Eric's garden, Day.
It is a large Victorian greenhouse, full of exotic plants and flowers in a large garden, utterly secluded.
Close on ERIC, who is sitting on a worksurface. He brings a large joint to his lips, lights it, inhales, removes the joint, pauses for a beat, eyes shut, then exhales smoke slowly, gladly, visibly relaxing. He opens his eyes and passes the joint over to his left. Open up the shot to show HANK propped up on the worksurface to ERIC's left. HANK takes the joint from him.
ERIC:
Thanks for that.
HANK:
You're welcome.
HANK takes a drag himself.
HANK:
Sorry about your old man.
ERIC shrugs.
ERIC:
Everybody dies.
HANK passes the joint to ERIC, who takes a drag.
Beat.
ERIC passes the joint back to HANK.
HANK:
OK, I can't stand it any
longer, and nobody else is
mercenary enough to ask. How
much d'ya get?
ERIC:
The lot.
HANK smokes.
HANK:
Which is?
ERIC:
Hard to say right now. No less
than ten, no more than fifteen.
HANK passes the joint to ERIC, who smokes.
HANK:
Million?
ERIC:
No, Hank. Dollars. It was all a
sham.
ERIC indicates about him.
ERIC:
This whole place is just made
outta Styrofoam.
They look at each other for a beat, then burst into hysterics.
ERIC:
Hey, this stuff's really good.
He passes the joint back to HANK.
HANK:
Hmm. Good but not great...
HANK takes a small tin from his pocket.
HANK:
I don't suppose you might be
interested in something a
little more... medicinal?
ERIC becomes stony faced.
ERIC:
You know I'm not, Hank. I don't
do that shit. And I thought
that you'd quit.
HANK flounders for a second, not meeting ERIC's gaze. Eventually, he puts the tin back in his pocket.
HANK:
I had... I mean, I have...
it's... it's just that... it
hasn't been going that well for
me lately, that's all.
Beat. HANK smokes.
HANK:
I've gotta take my second year
of college again, which is
humiliating as Hell. Y'know, I
took that gap year so me and
Sheila could go through college
together and now she's gonna
graduate before me. I can't
stand it, so I keep on acting
like an asshole with her. She's
a sweet, patient girl but right
now we're hanging by a thread.
Beat.
HANK:
What happened to me, Eric? I
know I can do all this, I can
do my coursework and my exams,
I can graduate college, get a
good job, house, car, marry
Sheila. But there's this part
of me, this part of my brain
that just doesn't want to. God,
I've been responsible and
mature all my life. I just
wanna... go nuts, drop out, get
high, sleep around...
ERIC:
You've done all those things
already.
HANK:
And I loved it! And that's the
problem.
ERIC:
Gee, Hank. You are fucked up.
Makes me kinda glad I don't
have loving parents to
disappoint or a gorgeous
girlfriend to cheat on.
HANK:
Shit. Eric. I'm sorry. I can't
imagine how crappy you must be
feeling right now.
HANK passes the joint to ERIC, who smokes.
HANK:
But you gotta admit, if you
were dating a blackbelt in
Karate, you'd be pretty edgy
yourself.
ERIC:
I thought it was kickboxing.
HANK:
To be honest with you, I have
no idea any more. She doesn't
talk to me about it these days,
but I've seen some of the guys
she practices doing some really
hardcore moves. Stuff with
blades, knives, samurai
swords... It's pretty worrying.
You just think, "my God, if she
could still turn invisible, she
would be..." it doesn't bear
thinking about.
Beat.
HANK:
And you're quite the swordsman
yourself now, huh?
ERIC:
So they say.
HANK:
Scary. As for me, I can't say
I've so much as thought the
word Archery since we left. Do
you think you've been
practising for a return... back
there?
ERIC:
My God, I hope not. That place
nearly killed me the first
time. But if we do ever go
back, I'm not gonna try and
hide behind anything again, I'm
gonna damn well fight. I've got
a fifteen inch gash down my
back to remind me of that...
ERIC is cut short by DUNGEON MASTER's disembodied voice. The boys start and look wildly about them as he speaks.
DUNGEON MASTER:
(O/S)
Ranger! Cavalier! My children!
Come, please come. It is time.
We need you. Your passage to
the realm awaits... come...
come back home to me...
The voice fades. The boys stare at each other
HANK:
You heard that too?
ERIC:
Uh huh.
HANK:
He thinks he's getting us back,
the old bastard.
ERIC:
We should find the others.
HANK stubs the joint out in a plant pot. ERIC slides off the worksurface and disappears into a wall of flowers.
HANK:
C'mon.
ERIC:
(within the flowers)
Wait a minute.
ERIC finds a large white and purple orchid, grabs a pair of shears and snips the flower. He looks at HANK.
ERIC:
What flowers does Sheila like?
HANK:
What?
ERIC:
You want to tell them why we
were really in the greenhouse?
HANK:
Oh. Uh... roses I guess.
ERIC goes to a large collection of roses.
ERIC:
What colour?
HANK:
This is Sheila.
ERIC:
Pink. Gotcha.
ERIC snips a pink rose and gives it to HANK
ERIC:
There ya go, beautiful.
HANK grins.
HANK:
Saucy.
ERIC:
Let's go.
CUT TO
EXT Eric's garden, Day.
HANK and ERIC are walking towards one of the back doors to Eric's house.
ERIC:
...he didn't really sound
himself, did he? Kinda
desperate, not very "riddle-me-
ree".
HANK:
He actually sounded pretty
scared to me.
ERIC:
Scared? Of what?
They have reached the door. ERIC opens it.
Close on the door as it opens. DUNGEON MASTER is standing behind it, looking grim.
On HANK and ERIC, their faces frozen in horror.
On DUNGEON MASTER, still waiting inside the door.
DUNGEON MASTER:
My pupils. Thank goodness I
have found you. You must come
with me immediately. There is
no time to lose.
On HANK and ERIC, still frozen. Suddenly they both scream. HANK slams the door in DM's face and they both run, full pelt, around the side of the house.
CUT TO
INT Kitchen in Eric's house, Day.
DIANA, SHEILA and BOBBY look troubled. PRESTO is pacing the floor. They all start when HANK and ERIC appear at the large windows and start knocking furiously. PRESTO runs to the window and opens it. HANK and ERIC start climbing in through it.
PRESTO:
Thank Christ you're here! We
just heard Dungeon Master's
voice.
ERIC:
You think you got problems? We
just saw the little squirt!
DIANA:
You've seen him?
HANK:
He was at the back door. He
wanted us to go with him.
SHEILA:
Oh my God! what do we do?
PRESTO:
We get out of here for a start.
Eric, you're probably not safe
in this house. You can stay
with one of us.
PRESTO leads them to the kitchen door.
ERIC:
Anywhere with a mattress and a
hot shower is better than back
there.
PRESTO opens the kitchen door. DUNGEON MASTER is behind it, barring the way. The kids all scream. PRESTO shuts the door again and presses his back against it, terrified.
PRESTO:
OK. Not that way.
DIANA points at the still open window.
DIANA:
Through the window!
The kids all climb back out of the kitchen window and begin to sprint around to the front of the house. BOBBY is the last one out and is about to run after them, leaving the window open.
ERIC:
(calling over his shoulder)
Close it properly!
BOBBY rolls his eyes and pulls the window to before following the others.
CUT TO
EXT Front Drive of Eric's house, Day.
The kids run down the drive and stop at Hank's car, which is fairly beaten up and studenty but roomy enough to hold six adults at a squeeze. HANK and PRESTO are panting. They all look back at the house.
PRESTO:
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, he's
found us!
HANK:
He's gonna take us back!
ERIC:
Dammit! I left the lights on.
SHEILA:
Say, where were you two anyway?
HANK:
Greenhouse.
HANK presents SHEILA the rose with a flourish
HANK:
There's flowers in there almost
as pretty as you.
SHEILA melts and accepts the rose.
SHEILA:
A pink rose. My favourite! Oh,
Hank, you're always suprising
me...
SHEILA kisses HANK. PRESTO looks at his feet. On ERIC and DIANA. He holds out the orchid unceremoniously.
ERIC:
You like purple flowers, right?
DIANA takes the flower.
DIANA:
Eric... this is an orchid.
ERIC shrugs.
ERIC:
Hey, only the best for my
pretend girlfriend, OK?
DIANA:
OK.
DIANA puts the flower in her hair.
BOBBY:
Aww. It's all so romantic that
you might almost forget we were
fleeing for our very lives.
HANK:
OK. OK. Everybody into the car.
Bob, you're biggest, you ride
shotgun. The rest of you had
better get friendly in the
back.
The kids pile into the car, HANK and BOBBY in the front, ERIC, PRESTO, SHEILA and DIANA in the back.
CUT TO
INT Hank's car, Day.
ERIC, PRESTO, SHEILA and DIANA are squashing into the back seat. To fit, DIANA has to perch on ERIC and SHEILA on PRESTO. ERIC and DIANA don't seem to mind this but SHEILA and PRESTO look fairly uncomfortable with the situation. HANK starts up the car.
ERIC:
My knees! Geez Diana, I thought
gymnasts were supposed to be
underweight.
DIANA:
Hey, is that a miniature pencil
in your pocket or are you just
pleased to have me on your lap?
ERIC:
Oh you'd know it if I was,
sister.
HANK begins to drive.
SHEILA:
Hank, where are we even going?
HANK:
Away from here, Sheila. That's
all I know right now.
PRESTO:
Uh... maybe I might be able to
find some sort of holding
spell. My books and things are
all at my place.
HANK:
OK then. We go to Presto's.
ERIC starts jiggling DIANA on his knee.
DIANA:
Quit it. Quit it.
ERIC:
My leg's falling asleep.
DIANA:
Oh yeah, well my knuckles are
seizing up.
DIANA starts cracking her knuckles.
ERIC:
Oh gross. Quit it.
DIANA:
You quit it.
ERIC:
You quit it.
DIANA:
You quit it.
HANK turns round in his seat. The moment he does, BOBBY's face freezes in dismay, staring ahead of him.
HANK:
(snaps)
Both of you, just cut it out!
BOBBY:
(in quiet horror)
Hey. Look.
They all look ahead. Their faces fall.
BOBBY:
It's the Dungeons and Dragons
ride.
HANK slams on the brakes.
CUT TO:
EXT A road, Day.
The car screeches to a halt. On the road a few metres ahead of them is what looks like a tunnel. Except that there's no hill for the tunnel to go through, and the "tunnel" itself is shaped like a gaping dragon's mouth. It is the entrance to the ride on which they got lost seven years ago.
CUT TO
INT Hank's car, Day.
The kids are still staring at the ride entrance, aghast.
HANK:
No. No way. Not again. You are
not having us again. We did our
bit, you son of a bitch. We
passed all the tests and we
escaped that stupid world of
yours.
HANK revs the engine and does a fast U turn.
HANK:
We got our lives back, DM...
A honking oncoming car swerves to avoid them.
SHEILA:
Hank, be careful...
HANK:
...and we're all grown up now.
We've got responsibilities.
Things to do.
HANK takes a sharp turn. Another car honks.
BOBBY:
Jesus, Hank!
HANK:
College, jobs, weddings,
houses, babies. Fathers to bury
and scars to heal...
On PRESTO, looking out of the rear window.
PRESTO:
Uh, Hank?
On HANK, driving furiously.
HANK:
No I will not slow down! I'm
trying to lose the little
fucker!
PRESTO:
Well, um, I don't think that
plan's working out too good.
HANK:
What?
PRESTO indicates out of the rear window.
PRESTO:
The ride's following us.
HANK looks in the rear view mirror. The mouth of the ride is following behind them along the road and is gaining on them.
HANK:
No!
The other kids look behind them and react, horrified.
SHEILA:
What do we do?
PRESTO:
It might be because we're all
together. I think the plan is
to reclaim all six of us...
DIANA:
So if we split up we might
confuse it, right?
ERIC:
Right. Whaddaya say, Hank, the
usual three-three formation?
HANK doesn't answer.
PRESTO:
There's a taxi rank just round
this corner. Hank, If you stop
off there, Diana, Eric and me
can get a cab back to mine
where I can work on a holding
spell. The rest of you can
shore up at Sheila and Bobby's
place.
HANK:
OK.
HANK rounds the corner and screeches to a halt.
HANK:
Hurry!
ERIC, DIANA and PRESTO pile out of the back.
PRESTO:
Call us when you're back.
CUT TO
EXT outside the taxi rank, Day.
ERIC, DIANA and PRESTO stand outside the car for a moment.
DIANA:
Good luck, guys.
SHEILA, now alone in the back, fastens her seatbelt and looks out of the window sadly.
SHEILA:
You too.
HANK:
Go!
The car revs and roars off. DIANA, PRESTO and ERIC watch it speed away, then look at each other. They run over to the taxi rank.
PRESTO:
Taxi!
DIANA:
Wait. Do we have enough money?
ERIC:
Uh, not sure. How much have you
got on you?
DIANA checks her pocket.
DIANA:
Four dollars seventy three.
ERIC:
Hmm. Well I've got ten million.
So between us we should be OK.
ERIC and DIANA get into the taxi that PRESTO has flagged down.
CUT TO
INT taxi cab, Day
PRESTO is already in the right hand side back seat. ERIC gets in the middle, DIANA on the left.
CABBIE:
Where to, guys?
PRESTO:
Summer Street. And I hate to
sound cliched, but could you
step on it?
The CABBIE begins to drive off.
CABBIE:
I bet you always wanted to say
that.
PRESTO:
Not under these circumstances.
DIANA looks over her shoulder.
ERIC:
Any sign of it?
DIANA:
Not yet.
The CABBIE looks in the rear view mirror.
CABBIE:
Any sign of what? What are you
guys running from?
DIANA:
It doesn't matter.
CABBIE:
Say, lady, do I know you?
DIANA sighs.
CABBIE:
Are you off TV or something?
ERIC:
She's an athlete. Could you
watch the road please?
CABBIE:
Oh yeah. I remember you. You
got silver at the Olympics.
DIANA:
I really don't like to talk
about it.
CABBIE:
Beautiful and modest, huh?
ERIC:
No, she just hates that she
only got second place. Ask my
opinion, she was robbed.
DIANA taps ERIC's knee.
DIANA:
Eric?
CABBIE:
What are you, her boyfriend?
ERIC:
That depends. Are you an
English Professor?
DIANA:
Eric!
ERIC:
What?
DIANA:
Could you stop distracting him,
please?
ERIC:
Why?
PRESTO:
Because it's found us.
CUT TO
EXT a road, Day.
The Taxi is speeding along, but is being followed by the dragon's head, which is gaining on them. Other cars pass through it as if it were not there.
CUT TO
INT Taxi cab, Day.
PRESTO, DIANA and ERIC are gazing, horrified, through the rear window.
The CABBIE glances at them in his mirror.
CABBIE:
What's found you?
PRESTO:
You can't see it?
CABBIE:
See what?
DIANA:
The dragon's head!
The CABBIE stops the taxi. The kids panic.
ERIC:
Augh, God, what are you doing?
CABBIE:
Look, I don't want any trouble.
Whatever you guys are on, I
suggest that you don't touch it
again. But I'm not having the
three of you hallucinating in
my cab, OK?
PRESTO:
OK, OK, no more dragons. Just
drive!
CABBIE:
No way, Harry Pot Head. Out.
CUT TO
EXT the road, Day.
The mouth of the ride is almost upon the stopped cab.
CUT TO
INT the taxi cab, Day.
ERIC flings a credit card at the CABBIE.
ERIC:
Here. The pin number's 4160.
That one should be good for a
couple of grand. Just get us
out of here, will ya?
CABBIE:
Out!
PRESTO watches the mouth envelop them.
PRESTO:
Too late.
ERIC:
Oh you are so sued.
CUT TO BLACK
CABBIE:
Hey!
CUT TO
EXT the road, Day.
The mouth of the ride closes on the back of the taxi, and disappears with it. The front of the taxi is left behind, roughly ripped just behind the front seat. It crashes to the road. The CABBIE shoots out of his drivers seat and gazes at his bisected cab in shock.
CABBIE:
Shit!
CUT TO
INT Hank's car, Day.
HANK is still driving furiously. SHEILA, watching out of the back, is panicking. The mouth of the ride is also gaining on them.
SHEILA:
It's still gaining on us, Hank!
BOBBY:
It's gonna get us, isn't it?
HANK:
No way, Bobby.
BOBBY:
It is, Hank. And frankly, I'd
rather go back than get killed
trying to escape it.
HANK:
Well, I wouldn't.
BOBBY:
Maybe it's for the best. Presto
said it was our destiny.
HANK:
Fuck Presto. And fuck destiny.
HANK turns a sharp corner. SHEILA breathes a sigh. The mouth is no longer behind them.
SHEILA:
Hey! It's gone.
BOBBY:
It has?
HANK:
Thank...
The mouth of the ride suddenly appears right in front of them. HANK cannot help but drive straight into it.
CUT TO
EXT the road, Day
The car speeding into the ride.
CUT TO
INT Hank's car, Day
The light has darkened as they have driven into the ride.
HANK, SHEILA, BOBBY:
Fuuuuccck!
On HANK as he tries in vain to control the car.
BOBBY:
Reverse! Reverse! Reverse!
HANK:
I can't!
SHEILA:
Brake!
HANK:
The brakes are gone.
BOBBY:
They're broken?
HANK:
No. They just aren't there.
The steering wheel dissolves.
HANK:
Augh!
The front seats begin moving backwards.
On SHEILA, who finds herself clasping the safety rail from a rollercoaster car.
SHEILA:
Hank?
HANK is suddenly beside her, looking miserable.
SHEILA:
I can't move this bar.
BOBBY is now the other side of SHEILA.
BOBBY:
It got us.
SHEILA:
I hope the others got away.
DIANA's head appears around BOBBY's shoulder.
DIANA:
Fancy seeing you guys here.
SHEILA turns around. ERIC and PRESTO wave back at her with sarcastic cheer.
Longer shot of the six in their original positions from the first time they were on the ride. Identical shot of the track getting rickety and disappearing.
SHEILA:
I don't like this!
ERIC:
Really? Because I'm just
having the best 24 hours ever!
The ride car disappears.
PRESTO:
Here comes the fun part...
On BOBBY.
BOBBY:
Bring it on.
Identical shot as the original opening of the six kids getting sucked into the vortex and falling through the other side.
KIDS:
Aaaaaugh!
CUT TO BLACK